Dear Elliot,
When I was pregnant, people would tell me how fast time would go as a parent. During my pregnancy, it felt like FOREVER until you would finally be here. And now, as I look back... I wonder where the time went. You are ONE! ONE! This has been the BEST year of my life!
1 Corinthians 15:51 says - "Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed." You have changed me! This letter will be different from the rest. Instead of giving you a lesson, I am going to tell you what you have TAUGHT me this past year.
Elliot Walter, you have taught me that miracles happen. You are my miracle. According to some doctors, you're not even supposed to be here. I was told I'd never have a healthy son. Look at you! You are PERFECT! I now look back on those painful appointments with a silly smirk on my face. God's Grace Abounds!
You have taught me that my touch brings comfort. When you were first born, I would simply smile as I watched you nurse. I remember our first night alone together. The nurses wanted me to sleep for a little while. They took you to the nursery. Before they left, they told me that when you were ready - they would bring you in to be nursed. I remember in the darkness of the night, they brought you to me. The nurse helped me position you and left us alone. It was finally you and me. As you nursed, I blessed you. I prayed over you. I was giving you spiritual nourishment as well as physical nourishment. It was so sacred and special. Even now, my touch still brings you comfort. I hope this will be eternal. I love being the source of your comfort. When you have trouble sleeping, the sound of my heart beating puts you to sleep. When you have a boo-boo, my kisses make it all better.
You have taught me patience and time management. You come first in all things. If it means we are late for something, so be it. Your needs trump everything else. You're worth it. I'm not going to rush you for my vanity.
You have taught me problem solving. I remember a few weeks ago we were driving to Philadelphia and you began crying. I knew you were in a clean diaper. You were definitely fed. Nothing was pinching you. The music was not loud. Finally, I had to put myself in your shoes to figure out what was bothering you. It was the darkness and the flashing of the lights. It was scaring you. Your daddy and I now have light up toys in the back seats of our cars just in case you get scared again. And in life... there will be even scarier times. For those times, we will be your light up toy. You can come to us for anything you may need.
Elliot, you have taught me how to be a kid again. You and I do silly things together. Whether we're making funny faces or having a tickle fest, your laughter brings me joy. You have taught me how to find the fun in the simple things. Even going to the grocery store is fun - all because of you!
You have taught me the sanctity of silence and listening. Even now, I still love watching you sleep. I love listening to you talk. I love hearing what you have to say. That will never change. You've made me more relaxed and more reflective. You are my greatest blessing. God has blessed me tremendously. I am honored to be your mother. You make me proud. You make me smile every single day.
You've taught me to take nothing for granted. You've taught me to cherish every single minute of every single day. You've taught me how to be a better person. It's true! You've even taught me new ways to pray and talk to God.
As you go through life, you will find times where you need motivation. Elliot, you motivate me! You help me be the best mommy I can be. Everything I do now is for YOU.
There has not been one single day in the past year that I have not kissed you. There has not been one single day in the past year where I have not told you I loved you. Every morning I kiss you and I tell you that you are my love and my joy. Elliot, you have taught me a whole new form of love. You have taught me about the type of love that I didn't even know existed. I fall more and more in love with you everyday. I even fall more and more in love with your Daddy. Seeing you two together makes my heart overflow with happiness.
Elliot, you are the love of my life. I know that there are going to be challenges ahead. We'll overcome each challenge together. I want you to always believe in yourself. Trust in God and His plan. Know that your family will always be there for you. Please know that I could never stop loving you. I will always be proud to be your mommy. Thank you for being you. You have changed me - and for that I am eternally grateful. You are the love of my life. You are my LOVE and my JOY.
I love you! Happy 1st Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
--Irish Blessing--
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