I can't believe I have to say this....
I can't believe I am typing this...
Recently, another female in my personal life made a very hurtful comment to me about Elliot's upbringing. She asked me how was it that we were going to raise Elliot as a Christian with having a Godfather who just happens to be a homosexual.
A direct quote in her monologue: "It's in the Bible....this is wrong." At first, I was flattered to find out that my best friend and my son made it into the Bible. I sarcastically asked, "Whoa! What book!?!?! I missed it!!!!"
She could tell I was insulted by my immediate sarcastic retort. I finally said, "We believe in love. God is love. Love is love. Elliot is going to continue to be brought up surrounded by love." Maybe it was in my facial expressions, but the subject was quickly changed.
I wanted to forget this even happened.
I really did. REALLY.
But I can't forget it, even though I've forgiven it. And since writing is my best release, I've turned to Elliot's blog - this forum - to let it out. I've turned to writing to say alllllll the things I wish I could have said if I wasn't in such a state of SHOCK.
So it's time to write it out folks. The best way I can do so is in bullet points - bare with me. There's no real order to my comments - you have been warned - I'm just typing my thoughts.
Notice: if you are homophobic, I encourage you to read no further and move on NOW. :)
- Don't ever bring up Bible verses to me in your argument .... I'll have you drowning in scripture before you know it.... in fact.... you may experience this as you read on...(Keep in mind you're dealing with an inner city Philadelphia girl...former Catholic...now Evangelical Lutheran ... married to a man with a Bible Fellowship background.... my relationship with Christ is enough in itself to make your head spin)
- So the first set of facts needed: Joe is my best friend. He is my HEART. He is my first true love and in many ways, my soul mate (other than Mark, of course!). He has been there for me through thick and thin. He has cried with me, he has celebrated with me. He has loved me when I didn't love me. He has encouraged me. He has treasured me. He has put me in my place when I've been wrong. He loves me despite how imperfect I am. He was my man of honor in my wedding. (told ya, I'm not one for tradition - ha!) He has never NOT been there for me. Heck, just last summer he was with me taking care of me during my surgery where I practically had my face ripped off. He has never judged me. He has never lied to me. We have no secrets. He and I can be miles and miles apart and know instantly when something is up with the other. He is my family. He is a second son to my parents. When my dad was sick this year, he was RIGHT there with him. When my mom had her heart attack this year, Joe was RIGHT there with her --- and then did house cleaning for them without even being asked. Joe is a man of strong moral character. And yes, he's in love with another man - a truly wonderful man. A man that I've come to love as well.
- Second set of facts regarding Joe - he was there for me through my entire pregnancy. And guess what, he was there for me through the entire infertility journey. Every appointment he called for an update. Every miscarriage. Every heartache. Every tear. And every joy as I carried Elliot. Joe is the true definition of a friend. He is love. He is my heart just as my son and my husband are my heart. He is the perfect role model. Him being engaged to a man as he acts as a second father to my son is no issue to me, nor is it an issue for my husband. It's truly just not an issue. When Elliot is older and he is having questions about his sexuality, he will be encouraged to talk to his Uncles - whether they are "straight" or "not." Elliot is being raised in love. Again, it really is THAT simple.
- “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.” Romans 15:7 Let me know if I need to break that down for ya, homie.
- "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7
- No one is born with hatred or intolerance. Tis true, yo. Look it up. Do the research. Elliot is being brought up in a loving Christian home. We're not haters. We don't judge. We love love. It's that simple.
- Um, gay marriage is totally fine and if a man marries a man it doesn't mean people will start marrying their pets next. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
- I know more successful and loving homosexual relationships than heterosexual relationships.
- True love is always recognizable. Another verse? Look out.... here it comes....
- "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law." Romans 13:8
- Lately, you hear a lot of this - "I'm not against gay people, I'm just for TRADITIONAL marriage." Similar distinctions have been made in the past in our American history. That's like saying, "I'm not against black people, I'm just for traditional slavery" or "I'm not against women, I'm just for traditional gender roles." Guess what....slavery and subjugation of women are in the Bible, too. WHY is it that homosexuality is the no-no of the Bible people openly discuss? I guess I'm going straight to hell then because if I took the Bible as literal as most it means I would need to go in hiding when I menstruate, completely change my diet and probably have to fire my hairdresser while I'm at it. God is about love folks. Love. Grace. It's really that simple.
- Oh no! It's time for another verse. AGH! Look out!
- "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs" Proverbs 10:12
So.... to wrap this all up.... we are in no way worried or concerned about Elliot having a gay Godfather. He's a wonderful man. We are also in no way worried about our son being gay. We love love. Our greatest hope for our son is that he knows love and finds love. It really is that simple.
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